Tag Archives: hopelessness

Thoughts For When You Feel Paralyzed

Many people are asking themselves what to do in response to the state of our world right now. That’s really good, we should be asking. Many of us are genuinely and deeply wanting to respond, but feeling a sense of overwhelm and despair, asking “what am I supposed to do? What can I do?” First of all, I want you to know that I feel paralyzed a little bit almost every day. I’ve decided it’s part of my creative process and I definitely know it’s part of choosing to engage in the world rather than turn away from it. I know that I stand up on Sunday with inspiring messages that probably make you think I never feel hopeless or paralyzed, but that’s completely untrue. In fact, some of my most powerful messages come from times when I have wrestled with a paralyzed or hopeless state. Since I like to get curious about any experience I’m having, study it, explore it, and let it stretch me, I’m trying to explore this experience of paralysis. So here are some things that are coming up for me around it. Maybe this will be helpful for you. I hope at least it offers a little support along the way.

1. Older and wiser people have told me that we are here for this moment in history because we are capable. So I remind myself that I am capable and we are capable.

2. I remind myself that there are a ton of really good people out there who feel like me and a lot of them are doing really good work. When I feel overly responsible- like somehow it is up to me and only me to solve alllll of the world’s problems (logical, I know), I remind myself of this.

3. I also remind myself that it IS time for me to be doing something, and maybe things I’ve not done before. The feeling of immense anxiety and sense of incredible urgency about the state of the world right now is really honest and it is trying to let me know that this is serious. So turn the question into a serious one rather than hopeless one. What can I do? Sit down with your creative, powerful, and energized self. Think big, get curious and excited about where this journey might take you and what big things you might be up to. When you talk yourself out of big ideas because you don’t think it will work, remind yourself this is a non-normal time and requires a non-normal response. Also the small things matter too, so don’t brush those aside. Think small and think bigger and seriously, do whatever your idea is. Just do it. Like Nike. Then help your friends get big ideas and do them too.

4. I force myself to stay with the tension. What often happens is that to escape the feeling of overwhelm and paralysis we just start avoiding everything. This is where complacency begins. So instead of fleeing from the uncomfortable tension of knowing there’s a lot of work to be done and I’m not quite sure where to start, I try to sit with that very feeling and not run from it. What’s it like just to sit with that “what can I do?” feeling. I don’t pitch a tent in it, but I don’t run from it either. I just let myself feel it for a little while. It won’t eat you alive if you don’t let it, I promise. Throw yourself a hopeless party and eat some cake, get playful with paralysis; like really ask yourself, what is this experience? Isn’t it interesting?! This is a tension that needs your consciousness. Get to know it and see what it has to teach you. Know that it connects you to a lot of people experiencing the same tension right now. Simply trying to get out of it will ensure that you just go back to your comfortable life. I’m not letting myself do that, and I’m sorry, but I can’t let you do that either.

5. I am learning to expand my container. The idea of “my container” is about what I’m able to hold, in a spiritual/emotional/psychological sense; what I’m able to include in my being. Expanding my container means, for me, the willingness to say I can hold all my own daily stresses and challenges, while also being big enough to hold the darkness of the world. I can almost physically feel myself stretch when I do this. It is definitely a real energetic experience. It means that I have to embrace the shadow fully and not be afraid of what I find. It also means I have to be really okay about not feeling good all the time.  A mantra I have is, “I am strong enough and resilient enough to hold this.” Sometimes, it sounds more like, “Okay world, let’s do this thing.” So, now is the time to fully engage in a spirituality that has you wrestling with uncertainty, fear, and resiliency. There are lineages that have embraced these experiences and right now, this needs to be our spiritual practice and those are your key search words. I will tell you that this work is not easy, but it is incredibly freeing, so it is not without rich harvest. Andrew Harvey, Pema Chodron, Jean Shinoda Bolen, and Brene Brown are all good names for this.

6. If you are feeling like you are of an age where you were fighting against a lot of the same kind of stuff in the 60’s that we’re facing right now and you know your action is not going to look the same, but you want to do something- as a young person, I have an idea for you. Become a mentor, encourager, supporter of young people who are acting and needing inspiration, direction, love, and tea and cookies from someone who wants to give them some mama or papa bear love. Gather your friends and gather some young people and become their support system for their acts of catalyzing change.

7. I listen to that still, small voice within. I know my soul, my heart chakra, the Divine Mind, however you want to name it, is working with me. Sometimes we have to be patient and keep listening. Sometimes it takes a little while to hear the direction and get clarity and usually we get it from receptivity as opposed to grasping. So use your meditation time to be fiercely receptive and to trust that your soul is carrying the message you need to hear. Pause, listen, and be willing to try out what it says even if it seems totally illogical or you feel like you aren’t actually capable of doing what it is asking. You are. Just be ready to leap.

 

“Changing the world doesn’t happen all at once. It isn’t a big bang. It’s an evolution, the sum of a billion tiny sparks. And some of those sparks will have to come from you.” -Katie Couric